The Visit That Never Ended

By Erin Kim

“The Yalu River in winter” by Jacky Lee under CC BY 3.0

For many of us, the word home is a place you return to. However, for Hyeonseo Lee, it was a place she had to obtain again. Born in Hyesan, a North Korean town, she grew up believing her country was the best in the world. Her family lived right next to the Chinese border, where she could even sometimes see the lights on the other side of the river. She became curious about what life is like across the border, but she never planned to leave forever. At the age of seventeen, she crossed the frozen Yalu River (Amnockkang) to visit relatives in China, thinking she would come back soon. 

Not so long later, in China, she realized returning home was impossible. The North Korean government would punish anyone who crossed the border and their relatives. She had no choice but to live under fake names to avoid being caught and sent back. In her book The Girl with Seven Names, she talks about how every new identity helped her survive but made her feel more and more lost. She spent over 10 years living with fake identities before she was finally able to reach South Korea. 

Life in South Korea wasn’t simple either. In an interview with the International Bar Association, she said she expected South Korea to welcome her as family, but instead she often felt like a burden. The language sounded similar, but culture, lifestyle and couldn’t even relate to humors. She realized freedom isn’t just about crossing a border, it’s about learning how to belong again. 

Over time, Lee started to share her experiences publicly. She gave a TED Talk, wrote a memoir, and began to speak for other North Korean escapees. What’s interesting is how her story is described differently depending on where it’s shared. In South Korean media, she’s often described with quiet empathy and reflection, while in Western press, her story is described as one of bravery and hope. Both views are true, and together, they show how complicated her journey is. 

Even now, Lee says she sometimes misses her home in North Korea. Not the regime, but the small memories of family, childhood, and living as a part of ordinary people. Her story reminds us that freedom doesn’t have one definition. It’s not just about escaping. It’s about rebuilding your life, piece by piece, until you feel whole again.

Reference

Lee, H. (2015, June 28). The night I helped my mother escape North Korea. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/28/my-mothers-escape-from-north-korea-the-girl-with-seven-names

McKnight, Z. (2015, July 14). Hyeonseo Lee: Escape, exile and why she misses North Korea. Maclean’s. https://macleans.ca/culture/hyeonseo-lee-escape-exile-why-she-misses-north-korea/

Ellis, M. (2021). A conversation with Hyeonseo Lee. International Bar Association. https://www.ibanet.org/article/72D9AC2C-3CE5-4D84-9851-8F9F762D5514

Lee, J. (2008, December 18). The Yalu River in winter [photograph]. Retrieved from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Yalu_River_in_winter.jpg#file